Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Meet Gunter The Spin bike

I arrived home today, set my purse down, fed the dogs, and sat down to watch a little “E” when, from my workout room I heard a familiar

*Evil laugh*

“Gustav?  What do you want?  It’s not even your night,” I said, to my masochistic treadmill.

“Oh Millie, jiggly, pudgy Millie…  have I got a treat for you…  Meet my cousin Gunter, the Spin Bike…  he has been waiting for you all day.  So why not put that remote control down and get your little jiggle tush in here and let’s get going”

But… I just got home….and I was going to relax for a bit and watch E! News

If you don’t get up and get going now, you will lose all motivation and plop down with some ice cream and a remote and not move for the rest of the night.  UP!  Now!

FINE!-  :changes into workout clothes:

*Evil(er) laugh * 

Hi, Gunter was it? 

*Evil (er)  laugh again…  Oh Millie I have heard so much about you.  Think you’re something special after finishing two Triathlons last year eh?  Well, guess what.  This year, you’re going to finish strong, finish fast, and finish knowing you left it all out on the racecourse.  Come Tri day, Fourteen Miles will be a ride through the park… now- hop on”

Okay- so, how much are we going to do today?  Fifteen? Twenty Minutes?

*Evil (er)  laugh, again *  So, you do know that “Off Season”  is not “Fall Off the Wagon Season”  right?    I have got my work cut out for me.

Sufferfest?  I’m doing a spin workout called Sufferfest?  Are you kidding me?  Gunter, remember me? Fall of the Wagon Millie-  how the hell am I going to get through this?

*Evil (er) laugh again.  The fact that you did not work out all through the off-season is your fault, not mine.  Start pedaling.

-       5 Minutes In-

·      pant *  Gunter, seriously, it’s been five minutes *pant *  and already I’m sweating profusely and *pant * I  *pant *  cant breathe.  Look, my heart rate monitor is already at 147…

*Evil (er)  laughing continues….  Only 147, well then… we can kick it up a notch (up to resistance level 5)

Gunter,  ouch… seriously.. Cramp…in my leg… major cramp…

Keep pedaling

·      huff *  * puff *  -sweating buckets-

Make it burn Millie, pedal pedal pedal!

Gunter  *gasps *  can we ditch the DVD for now *gasp *  really  I’m not ready *gasp *  lets just stick with biking for now.  Look at my heart rate monitor.. we’re fifteen minutes in, and I’m at 167! 

You really are a total drag Millie.  No fun at all.  Fine, if you must -  slow down and begin cooling down…  but just know, that this is what is in your workout future.

Fine, Fine, anything to get you to stop.  Kick my ass in a few weeks, when I’m finally up to snuff.  First day back on the bike, and already you’re trying to give me a heart attack.

20 Minutes later, 4 buckets full of sweat, and one sore sore hiney,  Me thinks I’ll be hurting in the morning….

Til Next Time!