Monday, January 24, 2011

Fearless Living List

My fearless living list is up.  I only included things on there that I haven’t yet achieved, because it seemed silly to put things on there and then mark them complete-  there would be no feeling of accomplishment with that.

The List is now a permanent fixture on my page.  It can be found here:

And will regularly be updated as I cross things off my list.  If anyone ever wants to join me in an activity to cross of the list, let me know J

Some on my list thought, I thought maybe would need to be prefaced…  for example, obviously I’ve already done a 5k, but I have yet to do a five k where I didn’t walk at least half of it.  I want to be able to run the whole thing.  And I have been in musicals before and had solo’s before, but somewhere over the last couple of years, I have misplaced my self confidence.  My last solo singing adventures were um, the vocal equivalent of the sinking of the titanic.  And, required immense amounts of anti-anxieties just to be able to get in front of the microphone.  And, singing karaoke doesn’t really count, because most people at the Karaoke Bar are drunk anyway, and sing worse than most- and it’s all just a big joke singing there anyway.

I want to be able to walk into a musical audition again, hand someone my music and just blow them out of the water with my confidence and ability.  Not be the person I am now, who falls apart when asked to sing by myself in church choir (as if Jesus cares if I’m off key)

There are still some roller coasters that I’m able to ride on, I haven’t blimped out completely,  but there are certain rides (the ones where your feet dangle and you wear a harness that comes down over your head and buckles at your crotch.. those, I can not ride on… but one day, I will.

The reason that "Canoe" is on my list.  When my best friend and I were in college, we were summer camp counselors at a Girl Scout Camp.  At the beginning of summer, before the campers got there, we had to take all of these "tests' to prove we were responsible enough to handle the kids once they got there.  One of those was a Canoe Tip test.  In which, they would take us out to the middle of the ginormous lake, tip the canoe, and we would have to flip the canoe back over, get back into the canoe and paddle back to shore.

My best friend, when wet, probably weighs about 120 pounds.  I was 18 at the time, but probably weighed at least 80 pounds more than she did.  So, every time I tried to get into the boat, it would just tip back over again, and I wasn't able to get in.  Not to mention that I had no upper body strength to be able to pull myself back into the canoe.  My friend was mortified that I was "taking so long"  and that she and I were the only ones left out in the middle of the lake while I repeatedly struggled to get back into the boat.  Finally, one of the guy counselors, came out, balanced the canoe for me, and essentially helped pull me in by the back of my pants.

One of these days, I'll have enough upper body strength to get into a tipped canoe. (where I'll find a tipped canoe to get back into Lord knows, but I'll cross that bridge when it comes)

 The rest of the list in pretty self explanatory.  Things that Ive either always wanted to do but have told myself (or been told by others) that fat girls don’t do those things.  Or things that I have wanted to do and haven’t been able to do because it was tiring/uncomfortable/etc.

So-  my list is in print now-  there’s no turning back-  all I can do is pull the chute and jump!

It will be one heck of a ride, and hopefully I’ll have some of you to join me!

Til next time!