I am really starting to enjoy sweating. It motivates me, it totally gets me going. When I feel sweat dripping down my face from under my helmet, and collecting inbetween my shoulderblades I say an internal "Hell yeah!" and kick it into third (or fourth) gear- figuratively, not literally. I have no idea what gear I am actually biking in... I don't really pay attention. When the hills get too hard from my legs, I drop a gear, when its wide open space and I'm able to pedal so fast my jiggle, jaggles, I increase my gears until my legs are working (just slightly) harder than they had been previously.
The one problem I find myself constantly running into, be it the swim, the bike, or the walk (I have resigned to just call it my walk.. because clearly with only three weeks left - not even three weeks- there is no way in hell I am actually going to be successful in running this thing). is what I call my "oh shit" moment. Its the first group of time in any given event where my body says "I don't want to do this, I don't want to do this... you cant make me... I'm not doing it.. nope... nuh-uh... FINE! I'll do it" This internal argument is also coupled with muscles that refuse to fully engage and an overall feeling of exhaustion (and a feeling that my arms (or legs) are too heavy to even slighty move to one side or another... but once I get into the groove they work great.
Here's the problem though: The biggest problem actually. The Swim. The swim is my "cake" event... In my heart and head I know that a 750 is no problem for me.. that I do double that every morning. BUT most days I am not swimming it straight through without stopping. And, even on the busy days, my pool only has five lap lanes (and I would rather perform my own root canal than share on of those teeny lanes) so, that is 9 other people in lanes assuming the rest are doubled up. That is not nearly close to the amount of choppiness I will be met with come race day. And, from everything I have read everyone "swims full out" for the first 100 and then "falls into a rhythm" ... I am no locomotive... I am more akin to The Little Engine that Could.
I need time to warm up before I can bust out and swim full out. My burst will come mid pool (and I keep calling it a pool but it's not really a "pool" per se.. it's a reservoir. But anyway.
Today's Manic Moment: What if, all this time I have been all laid back and not so worried about my swim leg, only to be met with utter exhaustion come race day because of the need to swim on all eight cylinders for too long of a time. It's not like I can hop into the pool and "warm up" before the race.. there are people launching every couple of minutes starting at like 6:00. I don't want to NOT charge all the cylinders lest I be stuck in a pack of people and unable to break free. And I have been operating on the hope that I would not need to pass anyone, because that too would deplete my energy stores. Maybe I'll have to go wax manic on my the new forum I discovered. The people there hands down are a thousand times more helpful than the people on Beginner Triathlete and not nearly as egotistical or superior than the people at BT. And, they don't mind all of my ridiculous questions :-D
On a secondary note... I had noticied over the past week or so that a handful of people "unsubscribed" to my blog. Im trying not to take it personally.... but at the same time... most of the people actually *reading* my blog are family and friends, and that is pretty much the extent of it, so when people unsubscribe I do kind of take it personally because its like a rejection.
So I jokingly (sort of) asked one of them why they had unsubscribed to my blog... didn't they like me anymore. And the person said that all I did was whine. I didn't think I was whining. I mean, it's a blog... what else am I supposed to write about other than how I feel or what I am achieving (or not achieving).... I was kind of surprised by this.
I don't think I'm really whining... I thought I was just telling it like it is (in the world according to Millie) if I'm tired, I'm going to say I'm tired. If I'm exhausted, I'm going to write how exhausted I am... if I'm stressed, I need to vent my stresses as this whole blog thing is really an outlet for my fears, worries, hopes, successes etc. Last time I checked, a blog is technically a "public diary" is it not?
I guess I could spend another paragraph going into explicit detail on where exactly I hurt right now after that long bike ride.. but I wouldn;t want to "whine" teehee.. actually I wouldn't share anyway, it's gross and my dad reads my stuff :-D
Til tomorrow
~Millie
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