Tuesday, May 11, 2010

The Sands of Time... are NOT my friend

I am just shy of exactly one month until the Tri, and I find new things every day to worry about. I know that it's my inner self, just trying to sabotage, fill my head with doubt, and in general, make me want to quit. It's really just about resilience and stick-to-it ness, right?

I just, find myself sincerely doubting my abilities. Maybe I really did bite off more than I could chew. I seem to keep forgetting that the bike leg is 14 miles and not 12. Ive ben operating this whole time thinking it was only 12 miles, and since currently I can bike between seven and eight miles, I figured a month to gain four miles is no big deal. But a month to gain SEVEN? I don't know about that. Not to mention the fact that I can still only hold a pace slightly faster than a slug for three miles. Now, Im online reading about bike training for triathlons, and it says that for the past two months I should have been practicing "bricks" (switching back and forth between two exercises) the site I was just on suggested seven mile bike, followed by a one and a half mile run, and then repeated. After I finish seven miles, my legs feel like jelly and my ass feels like I just sled downhill, naked, over a bed of pine needles.

I guess I'm going to have to just have faith, and figure out how to change up my workouts so that I can do these "brick" thingies. My fear has shifted from the run leg to the bike leg. At least I know that I am capable of at least walking for three miles, but that bike leg is a repeat route- so once you go through once, you have to go back out and do it again. And I'm so afraid that I'll finish the first leg and just be too tired to finish. I need to stay out of my head and just keep my head down and plug along. If the people on the Biggest Loser can be trained well enough to run a marathon after a month of being on the show, surely I can double the mileage on my bike leg in a month.

When I was in high school, we went on this retreat... and one of the messages of the retreat was to "Let Go and Let God"
apparently that is what I need to do now. I started this journey, Im going to finish the journey... but I think this last month is going to be as much about faith as it is about endurance.