Trying Not to Be Discouraged

Ok, before I start, I wanted to mention that I just had to go back and re-input the title of my blog because I had it as "TRIng not to be discouraged" ahhhhh this triathlon has infiltrated every part of my brain!! hahaha


It is Saturday, about 4:00. It was a bike day for me. I had intended on going to the trail and had told myself I was going to do 2 laps around "even if it killed me" is what I told myself. Sadly, I didn't even make it out of the starting gates. My SUV is just a tad bit too small for my bike. I am able to get it in (with a huge amount of oragami-like maneuvering) my car but not without difficulty. I tried doing it this morning, and somehow maneuvered around so much I got a spasm in my back ( I dont know what to call it, but it hurts like hell) so , frustrated, I just took my bike and rode the neighborhood. 4 1/2 miles.
It was not nearly as far as I had wanted to ride, but I guess it will have to do for now. I told my husband that I needed a bigger SUV because my bike doesn't fit in this one. His response was that we can go shopping for an exterior bike rack tomorrow (*snaps fingers* drat!) :)

Its my wedding anniversary today. We have plans to go out for a nice dinner tonight. I had bought a pair of pants for a friends birthday a few weeks ago, and they hadn't fit well enough to my liking, so they've been sitting folded in my closet. I just pulled them out (keep in mind this is three weeks later) and yet STILL they are bordering on too tight. How on earth after weeks of busting my ass, are my pants still tight? It makes me mind numbingly angry. My husband in the past month has lost TWENTY pounds doing nothing other than working later (so he says he hasn't had time to "Snack" ... and I work out two hours a day, eat probably 1600 calories a day and Ive lost next to nothing and the only things smaller are my feet. My FEET! What the heck? I go from a nine and a half shoe to a nine but still have pants that do not fit to my liking. Oh yeah.. and my arms.... and my boobs... but seriously- note to stomach LET THE FAT GO!! I just don't understand this! It pisses me off to no end.

So now, I have to wear other pants, old not new pants. Which isnt the end of the world, but its just not the same. I know I'm not really supposed to be focusing on the weight part since I told myself months ago I wasn't going to ... but how do you not have some kind of expectation when embarking on something of this magnitude? I can only keep plugging along but I just wanted SOMEONE to know that I am really upset over this. And it makes me wonder if there really *IS* a difference in the way I look, or if people have just been blowing smoke up by ass just to make me feel better.

:-(


~Millie