Monday, January 25, 2010

Poor Tubby Millie, Sweating on the "T", with G U S T A V e

Gustav: Millie... aren't you supposed to be doing a bike/swim today?

Millie: It's snowing.......

Gustav: The gym and bike are both inside, are they not?

Millie: Well, yes, but I decided I would swap my bike/swim day with my Run day ....

Gustav: That isn't really how it works, but since you're here *evil laugh* you will pay for your laziness.... On the Treadmill *whip crack* .... *evil laugh*

Millie: *puppy dog eyes* Be gentle on me.... remember, I haven't seen you since the middle of last semester

Gustav: All the more reason to whip that jelly roll and jiggly trunk into shape... I said MOVE

Millie: Let's start out nice and slow... a nice warm up pace to get back in the swing of things... :sets treadmill to 2.0:

Gustav: The triathlon is in four months lazy bones... and since you swapped your bike swim day with tomorrows run day- it's only a short run day- 20 minutes, no time for pussyfooting around :changes to 2.5:

..... what's that music?

Millie: Oh- it's a spin CD my dad gave me... I figured it would keep me motivated.....

Gustav: But- your sorry excuse making ass decided that the little dusting of snow was too much for you to have to drive through to get to the gym- so instead of biking like your supposed to be doing, you're here with me.... so, where does spinning fit into that?

Millie: Back off Gustav, I happen to like it.... :hums 'Hey There Delilah'

Gustav: If you have enough breath to hum, you aren't working hard enough :increase to 3.0:

Millie : *huff* *puff*

Gustav: Huffing and puffing at a 3.0... I have got my work cut out for me... let go of the treadmill

Millie: I need to keep my balance

Gustav: When you're out there running that Triathlon- I'm fairly certain that there will be no handlebars to hold onto while you're running.. let GO

:increases speed to 3.5:

Millie: *whimper*

Gustav: Listen- even Miley is telling you hands off... hear her? "So I put my haaaaaands up! They're playing my song"
Hands- UP Millie

:increases speed to 3.7:

Millie: Please *pant* Gustav *pant* 3.7? *pant* I *pant* can't do this *pant* First day back... remember?

Gustav: Very well, 3.5 ..... You're almost at the 18 minute mark anyway. I was having so much fun. These short sessions don't involve nearly enough torture for my liking :slows to 3.0:

Millie: well, thursday is a bit longer... and Sunday, you have me for forty minutes

Gustav *evil laugh* ahhhh yes, something to look forward to

-20 minutes-

Gustav: So, you went 1.1 miles in 20 mintutes... at that pace you will be crossing the finish line LONG after the race is done. At that pace, you are slower that the SLOWEST Athena time posted on your precious Triathlete site.

Oh Millie, we have a LONG way to go.... be prepared.... you are mine for the four months.....

I'll make a Triathlete out of you yet......


** Technically, Gustav has no "E" in it, but I needed my improvised ditty to flow. In case you're scratching your head... instead of sitting in a tree k i s s i n g ... im sweating on the T (treadmill) with Gustav.