Tuesday, January 26, 2010

People Really Piss Me Off Sometimes

It's forty five minutes until I can have my "snack" for the day so I need to do something or else I'm heading for the company licorice. I hate having to be so regimented with food, but if I'm not, I actually forget to eat until I'm absolutely starving and then when starving you never making the correct food choices. So I have to put myself on a clock breakfast 8am, snack 10:30, lunch noon, snack 3:00 post workout recovery protein shake, then dinner once I get home - roughly 630. Most of the time dinner is enough to keep me satiated until breakfast the next morning, but occasionally, if I have worked out fairly hard..... or if the ice cream tooth rears it's ugly head.......... I will also have an 8:00 snack.

Anyhow, on some days, you really start to realize how much time you have wasted settling. Be it taking jobs because the job pool was shallow, and you needed the money and then you stay because you are comfortable, or you waste time with fair weather friends that really don't do anything for you. With settling you end up wasting more engery, being upset, frustrated, and lose focus and motivation because it seems like everything is working against you. When in reality, the only thing working against you, is you. There is no permanence in anything really. If a job is unsatisfying you can leave, if you want to make more money, change careers do a million things that are related to careers, anyone is capable of doing them. It just takes drive and perserverence. Just like a triathlon.

Of course, there are days when frustrations mount, and even though you are on a path to change, today the change still seems just past the grasp. For me, I just have to keep telling myself that I am better than this, stand up for myself when needed, and put people in their place instead of just rolling my eyes and chalking it up to "how they are" because by doing that I have learned, it only nonverbally gives people permission to continue acting the way they are. Yeah, confrontation sucks, but sometimes it's needed in order to truly move forward.

oooh look at that, 3:15- snack time. Come to momma big juicy orange.