Monday, August 31, 2009

Ahh the Weekend

So, remember how on Friday after skipping my workout to hang out with friends, I swore to myself that I would wake up early on Saturday morning and head to the gym?
Yeah-  didn't happen.
Classes started this week for me and my husband, so Saturday was a mad rush to get to the bookstore (his)  before it closed (at noon) 
:Tangent-  college bookstores:  I don't understand why on earth college bookstores would open at nine and close at noon the Saturday before classes start.  That to me is just beyond any form of intelligent reasoning.  So, everyone and their mother (literally...and throw in a couple of dads and probably some siblings as well)  are crammed into a tiny bookstore probably the size of a "large" studio apartment in New York, elbowing past each other trying to find which of the seven Macroeconomics books on the shelf pertain to their class.  Its just insane.  It would make far more sense to be open on both Saturday and Sunday and offer some semblance of a normal time period so that people could come by and pick up their "revised edition" books that aren't acquirable online from a used book source or on Ebay, or Amazon, thus resulting in spending a small fortune equatable to a down payment on a Ford Focus for books.  So, thank you book store and book publishers for having ridiculous hours, and prices. :end tangent:

Anyhow-  I had plans to get together with some friends from high school for an outdoor concert on Saturday night, so after the book store was running to the grocery store to get things for the picnic at said concert. Also, I live about an hour and half away from said concert so time slipped by at a ridiculously fast pace on Saturday and I just didn't find the time  to go the gym.
I know, it sounds like excuses, and honestly perhaps it is, but it is what it is now.  And fear not because I got my come-uppance in the end.

Said outdoor concert was apparently popular with the over 60 crowd, so much so that every parking lot for the concert venue was full 2 hours prior to the concert.  Which resulted in our having to park at the ass end of the earth and hoof it to the main gate.  Keep in mind this is 4 women, intent on having a good time, loaded down with enough food and wine to feed a small Ethiopian tribe probably for a week, at least (we overpacked-by a lot)  and in flip flops (the kind my podiatrist yells at me for wearing every time I see her)  the $3.99 cheapie kind, from Walgreens.  

On the way there, the walk wasn't so bad. (granted we were walking at a Toddlers Pace as the child didn't fit in her stroller -thanks to the aforementioned over packing of food)  Weighed down with tables and bags even didn't phase me, and I thought "hmm maybe this whole Triathlon thing is starting to pay off"... I felt pretty good about myself.  That is, until the exit.

A gallon of Sangria later, toddler in the stroller, arms full of bags full of untouched food and the table, we head back the way we came.... this time a pace much faster than previous.  Keep in mind my friends are all in insane shape.  A Triathloner, a Marathoner, and a "boot-camp"er and then me... the huffy puffy tubby triathlete-wannabe.  By the time we hiked the length of the parking lot, I was sweating, when we made it down the first block, I was hurting, by the time we got to the car, I was seriously questioning how I am ever going to run a triathlon when I can't even keep pace with a few friends, carrying maybe an extra five or ten pounds of bulky bags and a table.  Ok maybe it was closer to ten pounds, but regardless, it was a not a far distance.  And the pace was a clip but its not like they were running.   A Quarter of a mile....... and I'm supposed to run five?  Whoops, darn metric system-  grr run three... not five, its a five K not a five M-  oy vey

I know,  had I asked, my friends would have gladly slowed down for me. But that's not the point.  The point is what if I'm working for a goal that is totally unattainable?  What if I have set my sights so high that the realization of failure is going to come crashing down on me. 

I have a problem with my left foot.  Ive had it since I was in about 2nd grade.  My foot turns in just slightly.  They caught it after I repeatedly would get disqualified while swimming the breaststroke because they thought I was flutter (Freestyle) kicking instead of frog (breaststroke) kicking.  My parents gave me the option of wearing the required brace or waiting to see if it straightened out on its own.  It didn't.  By junior high it was affecting my knees.  Growth spurts, and weight gain had aggravated a problem in my knees... the problem was there anyway - my knee caps slip and lock-  but the weight and getting taller accelerated the problem.  My parents were mired in a messy divorce, and when my mom did take me to a doctor, they told her to take me to a shrink because the knee problem was because of the weight gain and the weight gain was a result of my parents divorcing.  Well separating.. they didn't divorce til a long time later, but that is a post for a different day.  The ankle problem of years past wasn't even thought of, no one ever bothered to consider that is where the problem originated.  At 13 something still could have been done to rectify the ankle.  At 30, there is nothing that can be done.  My foot will permanently be turned inward.  It's very slight, you wouldn't even be able to notice it unless you looked very closely.  The problem really isn't the turned foot, it's the resulting damage to the tendons that concerns me.  

The podiatrist told me that because of the inward turning foot, the tendons didn't develop properly.  So, when I lift my foot, the tendons should pull the ankle off the ground, but instead of pulling it off the ground it peters out halfway through the motion which forces the ankle back on the ground again.  The result is what is perceived as dragging my feet (well, my foot really- mainly it's the left one that this affects)  

My family, for as long as I can remember, always just assumed I was slow and lazy, that my foot dragging was no more than a weak attempt at actually trying to keep pace.  The criticism has been endless from all family members telling me to pick up my feet, stop dragging my feet, how can I walk like that, pick up the pace, walk faster, don't shuffle etc etc etc.  After a while I gave up trying to keep up with any of them, and I just walk at my own pace.   Most of the time they all walk on by, leaving me behind, but I'm used to it now its been happening for so many years it has just become the way it is at this point.  

I'm really afraid though that as I'm running that foot is going to come down at the wrong time, and I'm going to trip, or roll over my ankle or catch the top of my shoe and bend it many things go through my head that I worry about.   I mean, I know I'm still a year out surely this is stuff to worry about later and not now.  Now I should just be focusing on plugging along slow and steady, but I seriously have a hard time doing that.  

I walked the treadmill today, 1.0 incline at between a 3.0 and a 3.5 ( I got bored with the straight walking thing, so today I did one of the preprograms...actually was quite fun)  I did a mile in 23 minutes.  23 minutes for a mile.... again, and I'm supposed to do 3.2 in about thirty after swimming a quarter mile and biking 22. I feel great though.  I probably could have gone for more, but at the moment I'm only supposed to be going for 20 minutes.  My gait, however, must be fairly uneven, because if I don't hold the handlebars my left foot forces the the belt or whatever its called on a treadmill to push up and throw off the smooth rotation.  I know that's that tendon thing again...and if it shows up on a treadmill... i wonder how it will show up on a concrete run.

For now, I guess it's just brick by brick.  I guess I need to adopt a "One Day At A Time" kind of mentality.