Thursday, February 10, 2011

A Flying Leap off the Wagon

Well, I guess it was going to happen eventually.  Stress, Frustration, general Weltschmerz who knows, but tonight, on my way home, I calmly walked into Red Robin, ordered burgers for my husband and myself, came home and proceeded to have a Burgasm.  Thanks to the incredible shrinking stomach, I was only able to finish about 2/3rds of it, but that is beside the point.  The point is, that instead of dealing with the emotions that I was having, I turned to my trusty friend the carbohydrate, and instead silenced the volcano of brewing emotions with food.  

And, it really wasn't even that bad of a day. I mean, yeah I got screamd at by some ahole, and I can't seem to get out from behind the 8 ball with classes, and my house as much as I beg it- never cleans itself... but these are miniscule things in the grand scheme.  Today's problem though, wasn't even my problem to begin with- it was my husbands problem, and when he relayed his work stresses to me, and knowing how hard he's working and how much he is bending over backwards and sideways to get done what needs to get done- I felt totally helpless.  I hate seeing him so stressed out, I hate that certain people in his company can't see all that he is doing for them or that whatever he does isn't enough.  And I know, logically its not my burden, or my issue, but at the same time- when you love someone and you see how hard they take these criticsm's and how affected they are by the constant complaints, naturally, you want to help.  And since, there isn't much I can do in the "help"ing department, instead I just have to stand by and watch him worry and fret and wake up in the middle of the night with anxiety that prevents him from going back to sleep.  

So everything just piled up- and detour off the straight and narrow into Red Light District of Dieting.  I need to learn how not to take other people's problems on as my own- I know this. At least, being aware of it is a step in the right direction, right?  And, though this was a jump off the bandwagon, tomorrow is another day.   Unfortunately, my tally towards my 30-day chip resets, and it's back to counting towards a 7day chip again.  But, I will learn from this and move forward.


Wanda said...

Cheer up Millie, we all have days when it seems as though our hands are tied behind our backs when we need them the most. Look on the bright side, although you had a didn't finish it!

I also have to deal with a husband who occasionally brings his daily work frustrations home with him, but have learned from HIM that sometimes the best way to help is just to listen and let him vent.

The Tubby Triathlete said...

Thanks Wanda! Today is a new day :) And after coloring and blogging, I do feel a bit better! (well, except for the ole stomach - IT did NOT appreciate the processed garbage I gave to it last night, and it is punishing me ruthlessly lol )

Alex said...

I don't know if I take the right approach (I guess we all have our own ways about us) but I just don't sweat the food too much. I know I eat and drink things I shouldn't. But I just try to keep those events to a minimum and I really try to just eat at meals (and little or no snacking) and to keep my portions within reason. Sometimes I think I work out just to earn the right to enjoy a couple beers with wings or pizza on a Friday or Saturday night. It's worth it to me.

Just keep doing what you're doing and shake that guilt. If you're working out regularly and only eating something not good for you once in a blue moon then you're doing more than plenty of other people out there!

anna said...

it gets easier. it's a learning process, for sure!