So, today was a run day- but since I didn't want to miss tonight's live eviction (even though technically, I watch it on time delay so I can fast forward through the boring stuff) I rushed home so I could have dinner and workout at home before Big Brother started. I know, my life shouldn't revolve around a television show, but I digress.
It's a Treadmill day, and feeling strong from the past few workouts that I've had, I decide to do a preprogram. I sort through the programs and find one that says 3.5 (which I normally walk) with up to a 7.0 incline and I think "hmm it will be hard, but I'm sure I can do it, it's not like it will be 7.0 the whole time" Below, is the transcript of the conversation that went on between me and my treadmill:
M- Okay, starting off , 2.0 a bit slow, geez my heart isn't even pumping....boring
T- Oh, you don't like 2.0 huh? How about a bit of 2.5?
M- Hmm.. a nice pace but nope not even a twitter in the heart beat
T- OH YEAH? Well How about THIS.... 2.5 with an incline of 2.0
M- Hmm... feels good.. I can do this alright we're doing well
T- damn, you're still keeping up..... 2.5 with a 4.0 incline
M- Mmm I'm starting to feel it yup the leg muscles are starting to work
T- Oh yeah? Starting to work huh? 3.0 with a 4.0 incline
M- Mmm starting to sweat, definitely feeling it
T- getting tired?
M- Nope I'm good
T- Well then.... 3.0 with a 5.0 incline how about now?
M- I'm definitely working for it...but so far so good
T- well then, take this ms I don't feel a thing.... 3.5 with a 6 incline
M- Yikes... okay I can keep up.. I'm good, stay strong it cant last forever
T- Can't last forever huh? Guess what..... 3.5 with a 7.0 incline.
M- OMG hang on, stay strong.. you can do it, breathe, breathe breathe....ignore the leg cramp
T- Ohhh leg cramp huh? ... poor thing... 3.5 with a 6.0
M- Hmm that drop in the incline didn't do much for the burning
T- well if you're going to be ungrateful 3.5 with a 7.0
M- Oh God, I'm not going to make it, how long have I been going for? 17 minutes? 13 minutes left to go, how long to I have to stay on a 7.0 at a 3.5 surely this has to be over soon
T- 3.5 at a 6.0
M- Oh thank goodness
T- 3.5 at a 5.0
M- ahhh sweet sweet sweet relief, I feel it coming
T- How do like this bitch? 3.5 to 7.0
M- What? No... we had a good thing going here.. you were slowing down, we were starting on the decline
T- suck it up... keep going.
M- But it's 14 minutes surely we can slow down a little while...please
T- 3.5 to a 6.0 - keep begging
M- I dont have much breath left to beg... seriously, I can't take much more
T- 3.0 to a 5.0
M- ok a bit better... thank you
T- 3.0 to a 4.0
M- mmmmm much better
T- you're weak! you need more to get rid of that joggle ass- 3.5 at a 4.0
M- Please, please not again...
T- You're mine now 3.5 at a 5.0
M- I don't like where this is headed
T- *whip crack*
M- *cry*
T- *evil laugh*
M- *whimper*
T- 3.5 at a 6.0
M- *glances at countdown- prays for a quick end*
T- 3.5 at a 7.0 as retribution for the glance at the clock
M- *sniffle*
T- Buck Up Cowboy, bite through the pain
M- *grimace*... ten minutes left....surely we can start cooling down now
T- *evil laugh*- hold the 3.5
M- *sweating profusely*
T- Had enough? Are you gonna call uncle?
M- Uncle! Uncle! Dear God Uncle!
T- Too bad. *Laughs again*
M- Please... stop the insanity....
T- starting to second guess that handful of pretzels you ate at the office today aren't you
M- Yes, I'll second guess anything just please, I think Im dying
T- well, a dead tubby wouldn't be nearly as fun as a live one - 3.0 at a 5.0- How's that?
M- more..please...more
T- *sigh*- Fine.... 3.0 at a 4.0
M- is it cool down yet?
T- seriously? was my generosity not enough? We can go again?
M- no no, plenty generous *gasp for air* but look, we only have five minutes
T- very well 2.5 at a 3.0
M- thank you treadmill, thank you
T- 2.0 at no incline---- end of workout
T- check your pants... I think your thighs set fire to leggings.
M- -checks pants...discovers hole-....
1.5 miles, a gallon of sweat and now 15 minutes later... I am still sweating, and I need a new pair of leggings.
~Millie
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