Thursday, December 15, 2011

The Seatbelt Nazi

I realized as I went to correct a grammatical error on yesterday's post- that I have a lot of half-started blogs that never got finished.  Many of them don't really apply anymore, so I'll just leave them for yesteryear-  or perhaps I'll make a mashup of half posted thoughts just for grins and giggles.   But this little nugget I had to post just because it still makes me roll my eyes just thinking about it. I tell you this because, I'm just going to finish the thoughts that apparently abruptly ended mid thought-  and then post it,  I'm not going to fix the tenses so we'll all just pretend its still the week before Thanksgiving :-D

I traveled from San Francisco to Chicago on Monday.  Considering it was the beginning of the Thanksgiving holiday, the airline was jam packed.  Not an open seat on the entire plane.  The flight attendants were nothing like those who were on my Chicago to San Francisco flight the previous Friday.  They, had been cheerful, and nice- and all around it was a pleasant flying experience.  The flight on Monday the attendants were crabby and apparently the alpha-female of the flight perhaps didn't like that I smiled at her and said "good morning" when I walked on the plane and decided that I was the target by which she would nail all of her frustrations and aggressions to.

It started, with my grandma and her carry on luggage.  Granny's old- and it takes way too long to try and explain anything to her-  so rather than spend the time debating with her,  I typically just do what needs to be done, and engage in the discussion later.  So, when getting on the plane I told her to just give me her luggage I would handle putting it up in the overhead bin that she should just go into her seat and sit down.    We get to our row, and there's a nice man sitting in the aisle seat (granny had the middle I had the window)  but our overhead bin was quite packed already.  I shuffle things around manage to get Granny's teensy bag into the overhead bin and we sit down and get situated.  Now, we were fairly close to the front of the plane- so its not like the plane was going anywhere for sometime.  So we're sitting there, I'm looking around in awe at all the travelers (and, maybe part of the U of I basketball team who also happened to be on our flight)  and alpha flight attendant comes to adjust the bags in our bin to make room, notices me, apparently deems me to large for my seat thereby asking "Ma'am, do you need an extender".

I say, no thank you. I'm good.

Her response: Is your seatbelt fastened- because they're going to come around and check.

Me:  No, but we're still boarding

Her:  Buckle your seat belt please

Me:  Um, ok- but there's still people getting on.  I buckle my seat belt  in front of her assuming she'd be satisfied and walk away.  Nope. Silly me.

Her:  Are you SURE you don't want an extender.. its a long flight you have to keep it buckled for the WHOLE flight-  all FOUR AND A HALF hours.

Me:  Nope. I'm fine.  Plenty of room between me and the belt.

Her:  Make sure it stays on

Me : (thinking- Jeeez its on, get over it and move the eff on)  saying : I will, thanks!

Flight takes of yada yada-  we're all good.

About an hour into the flight the drink cart comes around.  Ms Thing offers me a drink, then asks if my seatbelt is on.  I stand up and point to the fact that I am STANDING with my belt still on (So clearly, NOT TIGHT)  she hands me my water and moves on.

We pass over the Denver area and his some turbulence (Im assuming it was Denver, but its not like Im looking at  flightmap-  I just saw snow covered mountains so I am assuming that it was the rockies we were flying over)

Fasten Seatbelt sign comes on.
Guess who comes running to my seat to check and make sure my seatbelt is still fastened.

At this point the guy next to my grandma even starts to notice a pattern and we dub her "Seatbelt Nazi"

The rest of the flight, we take bets as to whether or not said Sealtbelt Nazi will come running anytime, the Fasten Seatbelt sign came back on, we hit even the teeniest bit of turbulence, or she was just in general passing through the cabin.

I think in total she asked me about seven different times whether or not my seatbelt was on.

I know that a *certain* airline is notorious for their treatment of heavy people, but I was not flying SWA.. I was actually flying American.  And I wasn't mistreated really, just repeatedly picked on I guess.  It was more of a nuisance and/or annoyance than anything else.


Anonymous said...

That's horrible! What a *insert word that rhymes with itch here*.

aggiebonfire00 said...

that is so crazy melinda. i am sorry that happened to you.