Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Sucker Punched

Life really has a way of sucker-punching you sometimes. You take two steps forward, and then someone or something comes along and kicks you in the gut, making you flail helplessly backwards to a point further back than where you started previously.

I just had a blood panel done from the doctor and my effing insulin and glucose levels are elevated. No, I am not diabetic… I have something called PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome) and they want me to go back on Metformin. And just the thought of having to take it again has me crying. Not only will I be in the john for ninety percent of my day, because it does a number on my system (not to mention I already have IBS so yeah it does a double number) but now I will essentially be locked into my current weight no matter how much I exercise no matter how much I eat right. That mother effing drug was the sole reason of my frustrations the past couple of years, and FINALLY when I went off it I started dropping weight again. And now, this new doctor insists it will HELP me, insists it WONt lock me into my weight but I know he’s full of it…because it will.

Plus, the last time I took this stupid medicine, I would get horribly sick if I didn’t eat every four flipping hours… and yeah its easy to do when you are at work- but on weekends or vacations or any number of things its not easy- at all. And then if you don’t yup back in the john for the rest of the day again- and nauseaous and with a case of the shakes. I can’t do this again.

If anyone knows of anyway to avoid having to take this damn medicine. I have to go back in for another blood panel on Friday- this time fasting before I go in. I’m hoping that the elevation was just from all the crap stuff ate over the weekend, drinking regular pop even and eating dinner ridiculously late last night coming home from class. Please God let it just be that.
If I have to go back on Met- it will break me. I just can’t do it.